Thursday, August 13, 2015

Starting A New Journey...And It's Scary!

Hello Friends!

Today I embark on my newest journey in my personal quest for a fulfilling life, and I’m so excited ...AND to be perfectly honest, a little scared!

Those of you who know me know that I've taken the plunge and quit my corporate job of over 17 years (yesterday!!) to follow my dreams and while I'm super excited, I'm also a little freaked out.  It's a huge change, definitely risky, and sometimes the unknown is just downright scary.  
But hey, isn’t that normal for someone totally changing careers after all these years of security? Yikes! (See more about my journey here.

ar is a curious thing.  Everyone has fears, right?  Whether it’s fear of failure, having enough, being enough, being alone or having others like them. Or things like fear of spiders, heights, public speaking (not my favorite either!), or fear of dying.  These are things that paralyze us, keep us from taking action towards our goals and dreams, and hold us back from being our true selves.  Do you ever wonder why do we give those fears so much power?


What is fear?  Google says fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Ok - well then what’s an emotion? Again, my friend Google says emotion is ”a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.”

So, breaking it down, fear is an emotion... a natural state of mind. Sounds really basic, but think about it for a minute. You know what? This confirms that fear is NOT REAL! It’s in our heads! It’s make believe!

...Now sure, there are fears that are real like when you’re being chased through the woods by a bear or you're swimming with sharks and someone just threw a bundle of chum in the water, but I digress (and why would you be doing that anyway??)...

The majority of our fears are just mental. This is great news! How many of our fears really come true? As a state of mind, this is something we can move through with a little focus and determination 
(or a lot sometimes!). We can choose how we react and deal with our fears. Here are a few steps that you might find helpful.
  • Define your fear, even write it down.
    • By identifying exactly what you're afraid of, you at least know what you're up against. It's kind of like "Step 1 is realizing you have a problem."
  • Breathe into it ...
    • Uh, what the heck does that mean, Becky??  Acknowledge the fear and feel your feelings, be okay with it.  As I mentioned above, we all have fears.  It's normal.  Those feelings are important because they are telling you something.  Take a few deep breaths and let that sink in.  You're not bad, you're not defective, you just have these feelings.
  • ...and be okay with it!
    • To reiterate the above, it's normal to have fears, even if you realize they're irrational, it's okay! Take another deep breath.
  • So what if my fears come true?
    • Now that you're grounded in what you're afraid of, ask yourself, so what?  So what if that spider jumps on my arm?  So what if Mr. Popular doesn't like me?  So what if I say something stupid or get nervous while doing a presentation? So what if my new business fails?  (Well, in that case, I guess I'll just go beg for my old job back or find another one!)  You get what I'm saying, think through the worst case scenario.  Once you look those scenarios in the eye, sometimes they don't seem that bad; they're something you can deal with and you'll survive.   And sometimes you need to go through this step again and again.  It's okay!  You're normal!  And don't forget to breathe!  (are you sensing a theme?)
  • Now, what if my fears DON'T come true?
    • What are the possibilities if the thing you're most afraid of DOESN'T happen or come to fruition? Reframe the way you look at it, and instead of worrying about what MIGHT happen, think about what could happen if that fear doesn't come true.  This may take some practice, but it can be very freeing.   If you're afraid of not being "enough" (young enough, skinny enough, smart enough, etc), what if think about all those things that are awesome about you and that people love and kick those other stupid thoughts in the face?!?   So for me, what if I focus on my business being successful, and just keep plugging towards that end, instead of letting the fear hold me back?  Of course, don't forget to breathe. :) 
If that doesn't work for you, Gabrielle Bernstein has an awesome Vlog about how to release your fear (click here) - check it out, it's less than 5 minutes. And if you feel like you’re alone in your fears, be sure to read through some of the comments. There are a lot of great nuggets there, both suggestions for how to deal with fears and just people sharing what scares them - it’s nice to know that we’re not the only ones with these feelings!

So, while I’m nervous about my new adventure here, I’m feeling much more excited than fearful because I know it’s what I want to do.  I’m kicking those fears in their stupid face and living the life I want to live!  Hope you join me!

Share with me in the comments: What are you afraid of? How have you gotten past or defeated your fears to go on and do amazing things in your life?  
Contact me for a FREE consultation, and we can work together on your Journey to a Fulfilling Life!

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