Clearing Out an Old Identity

11 minutes ago

4 min read

A continuation of my process to create space in my life, peeling away physical stuff, mindsets, and even clear out old identities...

Did you know I'm a CPA?

My undergraduate degree is a BSBA (emphasis on Accounting) and I passed the CPA Exam in 1999. It was a lot of work and I was really proud when I passed that test (there are four parts, I didn't pass it all at once...we'll leave it at that 😅). I haven't really done anything with it in a LONG time, but have keep renewing every two years, along with completing 60 hours (YES, 60 hours) of Continuing Professional Education (CPE) every two years.

I have a neat tracker for my CPE and am diligent at making sure I get all the correct hours - you need two hours of Ethics, plus have to get enough hours in some topics (like tax, finance, auditing), and not too many in others (like personal development - the ones I'm most interested in, lol!). I always get them done, but it's usually something I leave till the last minute, and it's ALWAYS on my list of things to do (and in the back of my mind for something I should be doing 😵‍💫).

Earlier this year I was getting ready to write "do CPE" on my list and I paused...

Wait...Why am I doing this?

Yes, it was a big deal for me to get the certification - I worked hard for it! And I used it a little during my corporate career. It's something I've been proud to be able to say - I'm a CPA! Of course, it's nice to have it to fall back on if I ever need to get a job doing taxes (heaven forbid!! 🤓 )

But honestly?? I haven't used it in a job for over 10 years (probably more like 15 or 20). So here I sit, doing my CPE (or telling myself I need to be doing it, LOL!) all these years for what? The ability to say I'm a CPA? That identity does not fit me anymore.

I sent a note to the KY Board of Accountancy to ask about the process of putting my certification on hold - sure they can, no problem. And even better, because I turned 55 this summer 😬 I can "retire" my certification! The beauty of it is, if I ever want to use it again, I can just ask them to reinstate it!

With that, I'm clearing out an old identity and retiring as a CPA

All these years I've been doing this work, it weighs on my mind A LOT, for what? A title? An attachment to a perception of me, one that the majority of people I spend time with these days have no idea about? Silly. Feels pretty great to be able to set that down. (Of course, I recognize it makes it a lot easier knowing if I needed it in the future, it would be there to pick back up, which is not the case for some identities).

I'm am getting so much from this one single decision:

NO MORE CPE! the physical time to do the classes (60 hours)
The time and energy I spend scheduling my classes, and then tracking them once completed
The mental energy of knowing I "should" be doing my CPE (honestly, this is huge!)
Plus it costs $100 every two years to renew!

Worth it!! And I'm not done!

The most important thing about this is that our "identities" aren't really who we are.

While there are many parts of our lives that we attach identity to (roles, activities, and habits) those aren't truly the essence of who we are. Who you are goes deeper... More on this to come. 😉

Personally, there are many other things and ways of being that have been a part of my life for a long time, they feel a part of my identity. I'm getting curious about them and if now might be the time to set the attachment to them aside (the need to be "busy," someone who drinks alcohol regularly, the people pleaser, etc.). Are these things I'm ready to put down to allow space for something else that is more life giving for me?

Is there an old identity that is no longer serving you?

Are there roles you're holding onto just because it's what you've always done? Is there a version of you that feels heavy to carry now? Some examples may be:

Attachment to a career title: my job is who I am
Personality trait: I'm anxious, introverted, socially awkward
Role based identities: I'm the perfect parent or partner
A story you tell yourself: I'm not smart enough, young enough, "fill in the blank" enough
Achievement or productivity based identities: I have to be productive to be worthy, I don't need help, if I don't do it no one will

To quote Ted Lasso:

Be curious, not judgmental!

You are uniquely you, amazing just as you are, and the only YOU we have! ❤️ I think it's interesting to think about what that means! Who are YOU, really?

⭐I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! Shoot me an email, or comment with your ideas!!